Relationships

This section is divided into a number of categories. To go directly to your area of interest, click on one of the options below;

• Parents/carers
• Divorced parents
• Step parents
• Friends
• Going out
• Living together
• Serious illness
• Death
• Bullying
• Abuse

Parents/carers

Your parents or carers may be over-protective sometimes but they know you really well, and are looking out for your well-being.

• Don’t hide things from them; they can always tell if something’s wrong
• Talk to them – you may be surprised at how supportive they are
• Everyone argues with their parents sometimes – the important thing is to try to talk through any disagreements and move on
• Ask a family friend, relative or your Connexions Personal Adviser for help if you find talking to your parents/carers difficult
• Call FamilyLine on 0808 800 5678 for confidential support on family issues
• For advice and tips on being a parent, visit www.bbc.co.uk/parenting

Divorced parents

Divorce and separation is increasing – in fact one in four children will experience parental separation or divorce by the age of 16.

Remember, whatever the reason is for the divorce, it’s NOT your fault.

Listen to them both to understand what they feel and why they separated.

You may find that is best to accept their marriage was not happy and they are better apart.

Step parents

If your Mum or Dad remarries, you’ll suddenly have a new ‘parent’ and maybe new brothers and sisters too.

This change is huge for everyone and you’ll all feel nervous, confused and maybe angry.  Try to talk openly about how you feel and listen to what they say.

• If you are having problems with you parents, talk to your Connexions Personal Adviser
• www.itsnotyourfault.org
• Parent Line Plus 0808 800 2222
• www.oneparentfamilies.org.uk (advice for young parents)

Friends

Treat your friends as you would like to be treated and expect ups and downs.  Listen to them as much as you want them to listen to you, and don’t forget them when you start going out with someone, a partner doesn’t replace friends.

If you need someone to talk to about problems with friends, talk to your Connexions Personal Adviser.

Going out

Going out with someone feels great but it’s also hard work – it needs more ‘give and take’ than other friendships.

It is important to keep your friends and interests – your partner isn’t your whole life.

If the relationship ends talk to friends and family.  Let out your feelings and cry – you’ll recover more quickly.

Living together

It’s hard work living with someone (whether it’s friends or a partner) – and their habits!

Being with someone all the time is tough – be ready to give up your privacy and share everything.

Remember, living together is a big commitment – rushing in is easy: rushing out is harder.

• For advice with relationships check out links from this website or contact Connexions Direct on 08 800 13219
• www.avert.org.uk/homosexu.htm (information and support for young gays and lesbians)
• www.bbc.co.uk/onelife/sex_relationships

Serious illness

Living with someone who’s seriously ill can be stressful and isolating.  Share your feelings, don’t bottle them up.

Get help from support services – ask your GP – and share the care.  Don’t forget your Connexions Personal Adviser is there to help you too.

• www.surrey-youngcarers.org.uk
• www.surreycc.gov.uk (just put young carers in the search facility)

Death

Losing someone you love is painful.  Sadness, guilt, helplessness, anger and frustration are all natural reactions – so is feeling nothing at all.  Try to talk to others, including those grieving with you.

Getting over death doesn’t mean you forget the person – it means you accept they have gone and learn to live with this.

• Cruse Bereavement Centre 0208 940 4818 or www.rd4u.org.uk
• www.childbereavement.org.uk
• www.winstonswish.org.uk
• Bereavement Helpline 0870 167 1677

Bullying

Teasing, name calling, racial harassment, physical hurting and exclusion are all types of bullying.

Tell an adult or talk to your Connexions Personal Adviser – don’t suffer in silence.

• www.dfes.gov.uk/bullying
• http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/default.aspx  or call 0800 1111
• www.sortit.org.uk/bullying.htm
• www.kidscape.org.uk
• www.bullying.co.uk
• www.respond.org.uk for help & advice on bullying and abuse for young people with learning difficulties

Abuse

A person can be abused by being harmed or by not being protected from harm.  Children and young people can be abused in a family or in an institution: by someone they know or by a stranger.

Abuse can be physical, sexual or emotional.  It is always wrong and is never the fault of the child or the young person. Telling someone is never easy but there are lots of people who will listen and help.

If you or someone you know is suffering abuse take the first step to stopping it.  Talk to someone you can trust: a Connexions Personal Adviser, a teacher, youth worker, social worker, relative or doctor.

• NSPCC 0808 800 5000 or www.nspcc.org.uk
• ChildLine 0800 1111
• Rape Crisis Centre 020 7837 1600
• Samaritans 0845 790 9090 – 24 hour helpline

Visit our Sex & Personal Relationships pages for more info.

Need advice now?

Search for your local Connexions Centre at www.go2do.co.uk . Don’t forget you can also call Connexions Direct on 080 800 13 2 19 (lines open 8am – 2am, seven days a week), text 07766 4 13 2 19, or click here for a webchat with a Personal Adviser , or visit www.connexions-direct.com for more info.